Mahreen will never forget the moment she felt the powerful presence of God. In the twinkle of an eye, her life was completely transformed. As a former Muslim, she had suffered years of abuse and neglect. Her fervent prayers to Allah, the god of Islam, were never answered. It left her feeling broken and alone. Yet God saw her. And He was working all things out for her good. Mahreen’s remarkable testimony will remind you that God sees you right where you are, and leave you hungering for more of His presence.
Mahreen will never forget the moment she felt the powerful presence of the living God. In the twinkle of an eye, her life was completely transformed. As a former Muslim, she had suffered years of abuse and neglect. Her fervent prayers to Allah, the god of Islam, were never answered. It left her feeling broken and alone. Yet God saw her. And He was working all things out for her good. Mahreen’s remarkable testimony will remind you that God sees you right where you are, and leave you hungering for more of His presence.
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Karen:
Have you ever held back from sharing your faith? Especially with people of other faiths and cultures. Welcome to the iHOPE Empowers Podcast. This episode is from iHOPE Ministries Blue Cord Series for women. I'm your host, Karen Bejjani. And here's a fresh dose of inspiration to embolden you, to share Jesus with women of other faiths and cultures
Mahreen:
Suddenly experiencing the presence of the love of Father God. And I realized that I was going to be able to live all my days on earth having a relationship with God, feeling His love, feeling His comfort, feeling His nearness something that I never ever had in Islam. And it completely broke me. It just did something so deep and so healing in that God started a journey of doing so much inner healing in my heart from years and years of just abuse, getting my possessions thrown away, being cursed, feeling reviled so much pain. God just started with so much love started a healing journey for me, that was so, so profound.
Karen:
Welcome back my Blue Cord friend, my husband Renod loves a good western TV show. And recently he had me watching a mini-series about the Texas revolution. Now, while the series was not entirely true to Texas history, it did give me a whole new appreciation for Texas's early settlers. You know, they faced all kinds of threats that you and I don't have today. And I'm really glad I didn't live in Texas back then because I don't think I would have survived it for very long. Now while you and I are not surrounded by guns and cannons and arrows, like America's early settlers, we are surrounded by other dangerous threats. Things like constant messages that promote godlessness, hyper-sexualization, greed, envy, and strife. It seems like everywhere we turn, Christians are being hated, canceled, shunned. Well, the good news is that God is not surprised by any of this because He put you and me here on this earth for this time for a reason. And He left instructions for how we can maneuver our toxic culture right now. Romans 12:2 tells us do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind that by testing, you may discern what is the will of God? What is good and acceptable and perfect. Now the Greek word for transformed. It involves a change from the inside out like a caterpillar changing into a butterfly. So right now you're like a caterpillar getting pummeled, just pummeled 24/7 with messages that tell you that you are a part of a losing team that Christians like you should be canceled. That God is not real. That you are absolutely naive, even hateful if you think otherwise. So my Blue Cord friend do not be conformed to this world. It is a liar. And if you're like me and most Christians I know you probably have let it been shaping you for too long. We can not look to the world to tell us how to think and feel. The world would have you do whatever feels right in its own eyes. And now, if you've been listening to this Blue Cord podcast for a while, you know, there's nothing new under the sun. Doing what was right in their own eyes is what led God to tell the Israelites to wear a blue cord tassel on the hem of their garments when they were in the wilderness. God gave them that symbol so they would remember His commands and not get caught up in the culture of the day. Well, you can read more about that in Numbers 15:37. It's what inspired the name of this podcast. The Blue Cord. So how can you not get caught up in culture and transform your mind? Good question. And I'm glad you asked. I've brought my friend Mahreen into join me today to tackle this over the next two Blue Cord podcast episodes. I can't wait for you listener to hear her story today. When I first met her, I could not help but see the love of Christ just shining so brightly to others. And she's a mighty warrior when it comes to sharing the hope of Jesus with those who don't have hope. And I can't wait for you to hear her story because I think what she has to stay will be so empowering to you. So Mahreen let's start with the beginning. Yours was not an easy childhood. In fact, I would say it was fairly traumatic. Tell us about your early years.
Mahreen:
Yes. I would definitely say that my early years were somewhat traumatic. I was actually born in a Middle Eastern country that is Islamic. And I was born in a very abusive household. Unfortunately, my father was very abusive towards my mother and I. But he wanted to come to America to study and my mom was actually a well-known model in the Middle East and so we came to America so that both of them could get some opportunities. Unfortunately, when we arrived soon after we arrived, my father started to have many affairs with the women that he was going to college with. And when my mother found out, she found out in a terrible way. She found out because she went to her dresser and she saw that all of her wedding jewelry was gone. All of the gold jewelry that had been passed from my great, great grandmother, to my grandmother to her and was one day going to go to me. My father had gotten all that jewelry and given it away to these women, he had emptied out their bank account. And when my mother confronted him about all of this, he told her that she needed it to be a good Islamic wife and just allow him to have this life and, you know, just cook and clean and just let him do what he wanted. And so she ended up deciding to pack a small bag and go live on the streets of Hollywood, California. So she left and then my father had all of the women come and move into our home with me. It was just so traumatic. We just had all of these women living in our home. I remember that one of them I caught in my bed and I just had this little tiny mattress on the ground. And my father would get into these terrible rages and he would beat me. He would beat these women. He would go into my closet sometimes if he had a fight with one of the women, he would grab all of my clothes, all of my toys, all my possessions, except for what I was wearing. And he would throw it into the dumpster that was located behind our apartment complex. And he did that three times before I was the age of 10. So I was just getting beaten. I could hardly ever see my mother. When I saw her. She was obviously in a really bad place, just really emotionally, really difficult place. She told me that she couldn't be there for me, but I could ask Allah to protect me, but it was very clear that Allah was not a father or a friend. He was just this being that created me. So even though I was always trying to pray to Allah to help me, I can't say that I felt very connected to him, that I really felt like he was looking out for me, really cared about me. In those times, I was going through so much physical abuse, losing all of my possessions, all those difficult things that were happening. I just felt very alone. I felt very frightened. I was scared of everything. I was scared of the dark. I had night terrors. I had nightmares, I had anxiety. I just felt so lost and so alone and so confused during most of my childhood.
Karen:
Wow. So your first 10 years they were traumatic. So very different than my own. And I just think how we have such a big God. And He saw you throughout those first 10 years, and yet you didn't know Him yet. And this was like a turning point I know. You were 10 and something changed. And I'd love for you to tell me about that.
Mahreen:
Yeah. So when I was 10, this man met my mom. And when he met her, the Lord told him this woman is going to be your wife. And so he got to know her and they started a courtship with each other and they ended up getting married. Well, the thing was, he was Christian and my mom was Muslim. And he felt this man, his name was George. He felt that my mom would get saved within three months because he had this word. He knew that the Lord had said that she was going to get saved and that her daughter was going to get saved, which was me. But we actually didn't get saved for some years. It was a lot of him just praying and fasting and believing for our salvation as my mother and I continued to be Muslim and go to the Mosque and do things like that. I went to go live with my mom what ended up happening was my father in a really terrifying rage one day he beat me so terribly, I got knocked unconscious and she realized that I was on the brink of death that if I stayed with him any longer, that I would probably die. And so she was able to get connected with this couple who lived in the mountains, who let us come and stay with them for a season. So I was able to live with my mom. And so I was living with her when she met this man ended up getting married to him and then we all lived together and I was so thankful for that.
Karen:
So in this process, you come together with your mom and you and your mom are still Muslim and your dad is a Christian. He's praying for your mom and you and for your salvation. And were there, did you have Christian friends in school? What did you think about all of that at the time?
Mahreen:
So for me, it was interesting because during the summers, my dad, my stepdad would send me to stay with his Christian parents who are actually Baptist. My grandfather was a Baptist minister and my grandmother was a Sunday school teacher. So I was going to Church throughout the summers growing up. But I didn't understand what I was being taught. Nothing really was quite penetrating into my mind, but every single Sunday I'd asked my grandfather to have the piano player play the song Blessed Assurance and that one part of that song where it talks about heir of salvation, purchased of God, born of His Spirit, washed in His blood, I didn't understand what that meant, but I was so drawn to the story of Jesus and what this song meant. And so when I was around 10, I had this encounter where I heard this voice tell me to go to my stepdad's study. And when I went to my stepdad's study, I heard this voice tell me to go and get his Bible. And so I got his Bible, took it to my room and I felt like I was supposed to read the New Testament. So I opened up the New Testament, I read the book of Matthew. As I was reading it. I was getting so drawn to the story of Jesus. Something in my heart was so cold. And then when I got to the end of it and I saw that Jesus died, I just remember I started weeping. It was because I had gotten close to Jesus as I read this story. And then I started to read the book of Mark. And as I started to read the book of Mark, I started seeing that it was also about Jesus. And so I thought, oh, this book will have a different ending. But of course, Jesus dies in the book of Mark as well. And I thought, oh, this is so strange. So then I moved on to the book of Luke and I saw Jesus, listen to this story again. And I started reading and I thought, surely this book, something will be different, but in the end, you know, Jesus is again, crucified in Luke's telling of the story. And then I got to the book of John. And so when I got to the book of John and got to the end, and somehow when I got to the end of the book of John and read about Jesus dying on the cross, I just remember weeping and weeping and weeping. And I thought this is absolutely a true story. This story is completely, absolutely true because these four different authors have all said the same thing, and something in my heart wanted to become a Christian. That's the first time in my life. And so I went to my mom and I said, I feel like I want to convert, but because my mom was Muslim, she said, if you make a decision to convert, you're going to send your own mother to hell. She said, if you make the wrong decision and you're going the wrong way, Allah will punish me for your decision. And I was so brokenhearted about it. And so my mom said, all you can do is pray that if Islam is not the religion we're supposed to follow. That I, as your mother will have a supernatural encounter or something will happen where I will convert and become a Christian. She said I will never, ever convert. I will never become a Christian, but you can pray for this prayer if you like.
Karen:
Wow you know, your story has so much suspense to it. So Mahreen two things pop up in my mind. First, what an incredible legacy your grandparents had in your life. It seems like they were planting seeds and probably praying for you to come to know Jesus. And so that is so encouraging for any listener today who perhaps might be praying for their own grandkids and for their salvation. Keep on doing that. And then the second thing is I'm not surprised that the Bible impacted you in the way that it did because there are verses all throughout the Bible that tells us that God's word is alive. And that it's like a fire or a hammer that breaks rocks to pieces. That's in Jeremiah 23:29. So it's really cool to hear how the Bible you are reading your stepdad's Bible was like hammering at your soul. And you're praying now I think that God would reveal himself to your mom. Is that what you did?
Mahreen:
Yeah. So I started to pray that the Lord would reveal himself to my mother. My mother became very concerned that I started getting interested in possibly becoming a Christian. So she sent me to Arabic school on Saturdays, like a Muslim school where I could learn the Quran really well. And even though I was a straight-A student in school, I somehow couldn't learn anything that they were teaching me at school. It was as if at the Arabic school, I couldn't learn anything that was being taught to me at the Arabic school. It was as if there was some kind of block as if the Lord had just kind of put a cover over me that nothing could really penetrate in. And then I just kept secretly reading the Bible and asking God that if I was to become a Christian, that my mother would get a revelation. And if she got a revelation of Jesus, then I would take it as a sign that I, myself, and her needed to convert and become Christian. Because even though I was drawn to the religion, I couldn't find any Christians who could really answer my questions. I had all these questions about the virgin birth and why Jesus had to die on a cross. And nothing really made sense to me when people tried to explain it, because I thought Islam was a much more logical religion and Christianity seemed much more confusing to me. There were some things you had to just trust by faith, like the concept of a triune God. And that just left me really confused for a long time.
Karen:
I'm glad you brought that up because that's a normal part of the journey when you were practicing Islam as a Muslim, everything, you know, would be the absolute polar opposite of what a Christian kind of view about God and salvation was. So your journey was normal. And so if you're listening here right now and you're wondering, well, how could I ever explain those things, Maureen, I just asked you, how did you learn those things? Where did you get the answers?
Mahreen:
I think that I, once I later on did become saved, just spending a lot of time praying and reading the Bible and just asking the Lord, just to give new requests to me, clarity, I think just building a friendship with him. And then also just getting really involved in my church, going to foundational classes, a lot of churches have something like that for new converts just a foundations class, or just reading books about that and just better standing some of that. But then also understanding that we serve a mighty God, that He is so much bigger than our human comprehension. And so it's all right if there are some things that feel too mysterious for us to understand with our human knowledge, we can just have faith that what the Bible says is true. And we just walk that out and I don't need to understand exactly all of the mysteries of a triune God, but I do need to understand about how Jesus died on the cross for my sin.
Karen:
I love that you shared that because oftentimes as Christians, as we're engaging with someone of another faith or culture, we feel often like we have to have all of the answers in our own words and just be at the ready to tackle hard questions about the Trinity or those kinds of things. And what I hear you saying is you did ask those hard questions and you didn't feel like you got the answers you were looking for. And part of that was your journey. And yet it didn't hold you back. That wasn't the game-changer for you coming to faith. In fact, there was this moment. I know when you were in college and some women came and just asked you if you knew Jesus, tell us about that moment.
Mahreen:
Absolutely. So I was on my college campus and these two college-age girls came up to me and they asked me if I wanted to get saved. If I knew Jesus, if I had Him, If I had Jesus in my heart. And I remember I looked up and I told them, no, I am Muslim. I would never convert. And I was very harsh with them because I felt so offended in my heart. These two women who didn't know me, but just come up and presume that they could just convert me so easily from my faith. But I remember that as they walked away, I was left pondering because they had so much light in their eyes. These two women, like their eyes, were like these lamps and their faces were just so gentle. And I could see so much peace and love and joy on their faces. And I had gone through so many years of abuse, so many years of pain, and I knew that my face didn't carry that light and that joy that they somehow had. And I wondered if they had it because they had Christ, which I definitely did not have in my own life.
Karen:
So this is a really important moment because do those two women know that you did eventually come to Christ?
Mahreen:
Absolutely not. As far as they know, I'm still a Muslim to this day. I never saw them again, but because of their faithfulness to come and just plant some seeds in my heart, when I got saved a few days later after this happened to me it really led me to have a desire to share the gospel, to evangelize, to go and do ministry. And when people might not seem open or receptive to me, I remember my own hardness in that moment and how seeds still went into my heart that penetrated some of that hard soil. And so I have faith that God can do something even after I leave people. Even if they say no, that they aren't interested in getting saved through some kind of outreach that I'm doing in my city.
Karen:
These two women, they come up to on the campus. They ask if you know, Jesus, it's deeply offensive to you in that moment, but yet you feel something's different about that. And that sends you on a quest to actually find and follow Jesus. Tell us about the moment that you did kind of surrender to Jesus as your Lord and Savior.
Mahreen:
Absolutely. It was actually quite amazing because that same week when I had this encounter with these two women, my mother who I was still praying for that she would if she got saved, I would take it as a sign that I was to convert to Christianity. My mother ended up meeting a man who used to live in the Middle East, used to be Muslim, built many Mosques all over the Middle East. And as he built all of those Mosques, he became more influential, became a man of power and influence. And he was sitting in his living room one day and Jesus appeared to him. Jesus came into his living room and said, why are you persecuting me the way you're going? You're going to go to hell. And this man immediately fell on his face, gave his heart to the Lord. And his family was so angry with him that he actually had to flee to America with no money or possessions. And he, that same week ended up meeting my mom, shared his conversion story to Christianity and she didn't believe him. She thought he was making this story up, but he asked her she was willing to spend three days in her room and asked Jesus to remove any spiritual scales in front of her eyes or any ways that Islam was blocking her from actually seeing the truth. And she decided just to try it. She went to her room for three days just to see if maybe Jesus would visit her. And for three days, my mother had the most amazing, profound visions and dreams with God that ultimately caused her to give her heart to the Lord wholeheartedly.
Karen:
Did she call you and tell you this? tell us about it transpired and how did you feel in the middle of it all?
Mahreen:
Yeah, so what ended up happening was she called me right after she met this man who was from the Middle East. She called me and she said, this man wants me to go to my room and just seek God and see if maybe I'm supposed to become a Christian. And I just told her, why don't you try to do that? What do you have to lose? And so she kept calling me throughout that whole week, as she was having dreams, she was having dreams about the last supper. She was having dreams about the dove, which is the Holy Spirit things that she had no concept for in any way. And so on the third day, when she had been saved, she called and she said that I also should give my heart to the Lord. And because she got saved in such a miraculous way, she was having dreams and visions and all of these things. She told me that when I said the sinner's prayer that maybe Jesus would appear in my living room, or maybe I would see an angel, or maybe I would just start shaking under the power of God. And so she said, we're just going to say this prayer. And then after you say the prayer something going to happen to you, and you might not feel like yourself for a few days. And I got really frightened because I was on a scholarship for college and I was in finals week. And I thought, oh, if I suddenly get saved and all of these wild encounters are happening, what if I don't do well on my exams? And I lose my scholarship. So I told my mom I'll just get saved next week. And she laughed. And then somehow convinced me to just say the sinner's prayer then. And so I did. I said the sinner's prayer. And I remember that she said, okay, is Jesus there in the room? And I said I don't see anyone. She's like, do you see an angel? And I said, no. And she said, are you shaking? And I said, no, nothing's happening. So my mom kept having me say the sinner's prayer over and over again. And then ultimately she said, let me call my pastor because I think I wrote the sinner's prayer wrong and I must be missing some words in the prayer. So she hung up and then she called me back and she said, no, my pastor says you're also saved, but somehow Jesus didn't want to save you in a miraculous way, the way he wanted to save me. And I felt very confused and a little bit lost, even though I had said this prayer, I didn't quite understand the ramifications of what I was saying or what it meant until some weeks after, as I started to read the Bible, as I started to go get engaged at Church, then the fullness of getting saved and what it meant, struck my heart in a profound way. And after some months I actually had this beautiful encounter with the Lord in the back of a Church that I'd love to share with you. So what ended up happening was I was sitting in the back of a Church and all of a sudden, I felt as if this, like the warmest, most comforting blanket was being put on my shoulders. And you know, there was no one behind me. I was just sitting there alone in the back of a Church. And all of a sudden it was as if it was the blanket of the Lord, like the blanket of His love. He was just covering me with His love. And I felt so surrounded, just so cherished by the Lord. And I felt the presence of God for the first time in my life. I had never felt it before out of all of those years where I was praying to Allah, I felt so alone. So confused, so abused. And suddenly here I was in the back of the church in college, having this amazing encounter where I felt the love of God felt the presence of God. And I remember that I cried for a week straight because, for me, I thought, oh, I'm Muslim. You know, before I thought, oh, I'm Muslim. And one day maybe I'll make it to heaven. And maybe I'll feel some, some kind of relationship between Allah and I. But here I was a young woman in my twenties, suddenly experiencing the presence, the love of Father God. And I realized that I was going to be able to live all my days on earth, having a relationship with God, feeling His love, feeling, His comfort, feeling His nearness something that never ever had in Islam. And it completely broke me. It just, it just did something so deep. And so healing and in that God started a journey of doing so much inner healing in my heart from years and years of just abuse and getting my possessions thrown away, being cursed and feeling reviled and so much pain. God just started just with so much love, started a healing journey for me, that was so, so profound.
Karen:
I'm so grateful for you sharing that, Maureen because as I hear you talk, it's making me think about our listeners from all over the world. There might be someone here today who has not yet known the love of Christ, just like that. What words would you like to say to that listener today? Who wants to know the love of Christ in that way?
Mahreen:
I feel like one thing that's good to know is it doesn't really benefit you to just stay on the fence to say, you know, maybe I'll just go ahead and get saved another day or give my heart to the Lord another day. Like there's no time like the present. We never know what tomorrow may bring. And so right even now, wherever anyone is at listening to this recording, you can just give your heart to the Lord right now. He'll just come into your heart. He'll forgive you of your sins. He will put your name in the Lamb's book of life, that you will belong to Him forever. And in that divine exchange of giving Him your sins and understanding the gravity of what He did on the cross for you, you can walk and just so much newness of life that you're going to be given the gift of salvation. It is such a wonderful, beautiful thing that you can go ahead and trust in the Lord with all your heart and just lean on Him. And He will come and be a present help in time of need. That He is on your side that He's in your corner. And for me personally, my life is completely different after I gave my heart to the Lord. My life is so much better. It is so much happier. It doesn't mean that trials don't come. The difficulty doesn't come that hard circumstances don't come, but now I have a Lord and Savior walking right beside me, no matter how bad a storm is, the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ is walking right next to me. And it's something I didn't have growing up. And it's something I have now. And it is truly an absolutely the greatest gift that I've ever been given in my entire life. The gift of salvation. And it is open to anyone listening who also wants that. It's not just for a few it's for everybody just to come and just ask Jesus into your heart, even now, just to ask Him into your heart, that He is so ready to come in and change you and set you free, that He is known for setting the captives free, anything that has held you bound or trapped He is so ready even today, just to set you free in this very, very moment.
Karen:
I love it, Maureen, this is a very special moment, and this is not something we planned on the podcast today, but I think that there are some listeners today who really needed that special message. Mahreen, thank you. And so Blue Cord friend, right after Mahreen got saved, she immediately began sharing the gift of salvation with others. And on the next Blue Cord podcast, part two, she'll share with you some of the very practical things she's learned about going against the status quo to be strong and courageous about sharing her faith. And sometimes in places where it's illegal to be sharing her faith, it's such an empowering episode, but until then, as we close out our time together today, I want to leave you with one thing to think about and to talk about with the Lord this week. And that is this, are you fully realizing the love of the father towards you? Have you been seeing your own salvation as a gift to be treasured, or have you been taking it for granted? I pray this episode helps you remember and deeply treasure how the Lord saved you as He saved you to save others through you. Thanks for listening to this podcast, a donor-supported series from iHOPE Ministries. For more bite-sized things to know and do to share your faith with intention, follow us on Instagram @ihopeministries then go to ihopeministries.org and sign up for our weekly e-newsletter. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts and subscribe wherever you listen. Your review helps the show empower more everyday Christians with the courage, confidence, and know-how to share Jesus in our generation. See you next time.