The Blue Cord, by iHOPE Ministries

Stand Up for Your Faith: Christina's Story

Episode Summary

Christiana grew up in the Middle East thinking that Christianity was expired and that Islamic Law would solve the world’s problems. Then a near-death experience left her searching for truth and questioning God’s existence. One day, while scrolling through atheist videos that mocked God, she stumbled across a video of a man giving his life to Christ. It touched her soul and set her on a journey that transformed her life. Christina’s epic coming-to-Jesus story will embolden you to stand up for your faith and shine your light right where you live.

Episode Notes

Christiana grew up in the Middle East thinking that Christianity was expired and that Islamic Law would solve the world’s problems. Then a near-death experience left her searching for truth and questioning God’s existence. One day, while scrolling through atheist videos that mocked God, she stumbled across a video of a man giving his life to Christ. It touched her soul and set her on a journey that transformed her life. Christina’s epic coming-to-Jesus story will embolden you to stand up for your faith and shine your light right where you live. 

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Episode Transcription

Karen:

Have you ever held back from sharing your faith, especially with people of other faiths and cultures? Welcome to the iHOPE Empowers Podcast. This episode is from iHOPE Ministries, Blue Cord Series for women. I'm your host Karen Bejjani. And here's a fresh dose of inspiration to embolden you, to share Jesus with women of other faiths and cultures.

Christina :

Take nothing for granted and get out of your comfort zone. Comfort zone is the worst thing ever. You need to just stand up for your faith and never let people shame you for your belief in Jesus because Jesus at the end of the day is the Lord.

Karen:

Welcome back my Blue Cord friend today's guest grew up in a large Muslim family in Kuwait and just like, I didn't know any Muslims when I was growing up in America's Heartland. She didn't know any Christians in Kuwait either. In fact, she thought that the Christian religion was expired. The story of how she came to faith in Jesus is remarkable. And I think it's going to grow your faith and leave you wanting to take a more active role in sharing your faith. But before you meet her, let me tell you the inspiration behind the name of this Blue Cord Series. It was inspired by a verse in the Old Testament Numbers 15:37. When the Lord told the Israelites to make a tassel with a cord of blue on the hem of their garments as a symbol that they serve a holy living God who expected them to follow His commands. I pray this episode will be a catalyst for you to be His witness among the nations right where you live. So let's get started. Today I'm here with Christina. She's going to share how she came to love God and love others. And so Christina, let's start with your own journey. Now you grew up in a Muslim family in Kuwait. So I know that's like on the other side of the universe, I can't even imagine what that was like for you. Give us a little bit of a background. What was that like growing up there?

Christina:

So I grew up as a Muslim girl in a Muslim family. Half of it is Shiite and half of it is Sunni which is like the two sides of Islam and I was religious at some points. We studied Islam in school. So it's a fact it's a matter of fact, like science and math. It's a matter of fact. So it's like, there's no way that we can question that. We, as Kuwaitis grew up in a society where we think this is all the truth and there's no other religion in the world and everybody else is going to hell.

Karen:

Yeah. So it was just really matter of fact, just like science, just like math, you studied the Quran.

Christina :

Yes. And we consider it the very holy source of the word of God. And it's good for everything. Even for science, like it's more smart. It's smarter than scientists. The Quran say that the earth is flat. The earth is flat. No matter what the scientists say.

Karen:

So as you were a young girl and you were studying the Quran in school, I know Jesus is in the Quran. Did you study that while you were in school?

Christina:

Yes. We started the story of Jesus and He's just a prophet, but He could do any miracle that you could dream of. So it impresses me when I was 10 years old and we were reading those stories of other prophets in the Qur'an. I liked Jesus more than anyone else. And I went to talk to my Islam teacher and I told her, I chose Isa. I liked Him and I want to follow Him. And she said, it's not that choice. I said, why is it not a choice? Because she said Christianity is expired. And I was really sad because I really wanted Him to make a miracle for me or something. As a 10 year old kid this is the way I was thinking. I said, so how can I meet Him? If I want to meet Him one day? She said, if you follow Mohammed, if you follow Islam, you will end up in Jannah, which has heaven. And you will see prophet Isa. So you will see Jesus. If you follow Mohammad, you will see Isa.

Karen:

So at that point, Christianity was expired. So that wasn't an option for you to follow Jesus or explore that anymore. And it really was all about growing in your faith in Islam at that.

Christina:

Yes. So Islam is very religious mindset, let's say. So I tried to become very faithful Muslim and I was radical Muslim. I read all the books more than the Islamic forces that we used to have because I was really interested in going to heaven to meet God and to meet Mohammad and to meet Jesus. As we would think that Jesus is just a prophet.

Karen:

Now, did your family go to Mecca? Like many Muslims do?

Christina:

Yes we did. I did, with my family. When I was six years old during the Gulf war, all my family went to Mecca to do the pilgrimage. And we stayed there for one year. So we called Mecca the house of God, the Kaaba the house of God. The house of Allah. And when we went there, it was like something huge for us kids. As a six years old kid. I thought I am meeting God personally. And when I saw the Kaaba, which is a building, you know, it's like a little room, black room. I tried to reach out for the door. So as a kid, they were playing with me though. A security guy was playing with me and he pulled me up to the door, which was like two meters high. And I started knocking on the door of Kaaba and asking God to open the door. But nobody answered me. And everybody was looking at me and they were laughing and they were angry and they wanted to take her away from the door. And my mother was there waiting for me. And she said, why did you do this? You made this candle in the middle of, you know, the Holy Place. And I said, well, this is the house of Allah. And I wanted to meet Allah. She said, but Allah is not inside the Kaaba. And I was shocked for the first time. I said, then what's inside the Kaaba. And she said, nothing is inside the Kaaba. And then I asked her, then why are you sitting around it? And why are you praying to it? She said, oh, you don't understand, your just a kid. You will understand when you grow up. I thank you momma now I understand.

Karen:

So you had grown up steeped in Islam as a child, studied the Quran in school. You went above and beyond and studied way more than you needed to. So I know that you were sharing with me that as ISIS began to rise up in the Middle East, you were starting to just cheer them on at that point. Tell us a little about that.

Christina :

I wore hijjab on 2002, I think before ISIS came, but everybody was calling for the Islamic law to be taken over the world. We used to study this in school, that this is the solution for all the problems in the world, that the world will follow Islam. And the Islamic law will be a must for everybody, according to Quran and no secular countries should be around the world or liberal. So I believed in this, when I was in college, I felt this is the right thing to happen, the right thing to do, but when ISIS appeared in the picture and 2010 and 2011, everybody was against it. Not only ISIS, but even Al-Qaeda in 2001 and 911. I didn't care about it. People were like, oh, this is a crime. And I said, why is it the crime it's written in the Quran? It's okay to do that. I was shocked. I thought Muslims have double mind. They have the secular part of their personality. They love people and they want to live like other nations and the Islamic part where they want to follow the Quran but they can't. When ISIS came to be the leaders in Damascus and Iraq, I thought, yeah, that's great. So now we will have no problems in the world, but everybody was against them. And I said, why are you against the Muslims? And when I watched the videos of them chopping heads and raping women and killing kids and stuff, I thought this is terrible. It's very, very bad. And I was thinking that Islam is really bad. How come it's so bad? I never felt that it's as bad as when I see it now, like when you read about it, it's different than when you see it in real life. It's really, really bad. And there's nothing that they were doing or still doing. That's against one word in Quran everything they do is very, very, let's say Biblical, according to the Quran. It's very, according to Quran is very right. It's the best thing to do. And actually they are more secular than Quran, even more radical than this.

Karen:

So about this time I know you and I talked about something happened in your life that really left you just rethinking everything, your whole spiritual foundation. Talk to us about that.

Christina:

In 2008 I had a near-death experience and they took me to the hospital because I was dying and they tried to bring me back to life. And through this experience, I didn't see any of the Islamic beliefs that I know about that because we have specific scenario about dying and Islam and the black angel, comes to question you on all these things. I just saw myself as a dog, being stuck in a huge tunnel. And the tunnel was really dark and was really huge and I had no control over myself. But at the end of the tunnel a light came and brought me back to life. And now I think about it. It should be God, it should be Jesus. But back then it made me really live the trauma. And I was shocked that what I believed all my life has nothing to do with reality at all. So when I came out of the hospital, it was Ramadan and I didn't fast because I was so traumatized. I was so shocked and I was reevaluating everything in life. And I used to watch my family having Islamic meals during Ramadan. And they were praying to Allah and doing the Islamic ritual. And I was thinking, this makes no sense at all, as they're doing this because life and death matters, I don't think this matters to life and death. Or God. What we were doing the rituals. So I started to become more spiritual to fill the void in my heart and my soul and became like New Age. Like I became energy healer. I tried yoga, astrology, all the things that you can imagine that would answer those questions. I even tried to talk to dead people like the medium. I tried the Tarot reading. I tried everything that you can imagine to see what's out there, what's happening in the spiritual world. And what does it mean? What does the spirit mean? Because it has no meaning in Islam the spirit has no definition in Islam. So I came to a point where I became totally atheist and bitter against God. After five years of living like that, I wasn't fulfilled actually I was more bitter, but I was worse and worse and more self-centered and a narcissist towards New Age beliefs that if you love yourself enough, you will find the rest that you need. And you will find the things that you want and you are your own God somehow. But to be like that, you will be very, very selfish at the end of the day. So I became very bitter about God. And I started mocking God with my atheist friends. And I used to watch every video that mocks God or say bad things about Him and it made me feel good about myself. It made me feel I'm better than Him.

Karen:

So when you shared this with me, I didn't even know there was this whole world where you could go on YouTube and watch videos from former Muslims who became atheists. And this is really where you were hanging out, watching all these videos, mocking God. And then you stumbled across a video that actually drove you to God. Talk to us about that.

Christina :

Well, I watched the video for Brother Rashid and he's a former Muslim who came to Christ years ago, like maybe 20 years ago or something. I didn't know that he was Christian because he wasn't wearing a cross and he's Arab. So I considered that Arab's was full of questions. And the TV show was all about the mistakes in Islam and the God of Islam and how bad he is and how ISIS are criminals and how rituals in Islam are pointless. I felt he's an atheist. So I enjoyed the show. And because I work in media, I really love when the TV show is really official and it was really, really good and professional. And so someone called the show that day, one of the audience, and he said, I want to give my life to Jesus and he was quiet. So the host Brother Rashid was quiet as well. And they were praying. And I was thinking what are they praying about and why are they crying like for Middle Eastern mentality a man doesn't cry, unless it's a big deal, very very big deal. And I didn't see what the big deal was, why are they crying? So I started watching it over and over again to see if they're acting or something, but they were not acting at all. So I say, what's, what's so special about the words they're saying. I didn't understand a word to be honest. And I didn't even have this concept of giving your life to Jesus. I don't know who Jesus is.

Karen:

Because Christianity had expired. So you wouldn't even know.

Christina :

I didn't even know it was Christianity, to be honest, I didn't know this is Christianity. I don't know what they're talking about. So, because they saying that they're giving their life to God and Jesus and things that doesn't make sense to me, but I tried to say them anyway. And when I try to say them I freaked out and I stopped. I just stopped watching. And I said, I shouldn't do this. Like I was afraid because it's a taboo at the end of the day. I was atheist, but still I can't do this.

Karen:

So at that point I bet you started to wonder if God was real.

Christina :

Yes, because it touched my soul and I felt there's something more for the first time. I couldn't stop thinking about what happened. And when I was with my Athiest friends, I told them what if there is a good God? What if there is a God? What, what will happen to us? We will go to hell. We will go straight to hell. And they said, well, there is no God, because God is just an imaginary friend that people made up so they don't feel alone and they don't want to be responsible for their actions. So there's no one here in this world to save you. Except you, you are the only savior for your life. And you are the only one who is responsible for yourself. Nobody cares about you. It's a lie. And they said that he's just a super hero, like imaginary superhero. And I said, well, if there is an imaginary superhero, I would love to meet that person. Like if he exists, that would be great. But you know, I went back home and before going to bed. I said, God, if you exist show yourself to me in a dream, and if you didn't show yourself to me in a dream, you have no right to judge me or take me to hell when I die. That's the deal. And I want this.

Karen:

So what happened ?

Christina:

I was very specific when I was about asleep on my bed, I felt like a virtual person was wiping my right ear and I thought I'm going crazy. And I said, okay, this is the perfect combination. So I'm atheist and crazy. So I'm like I don't know. that's good. So I should go on to sleep. So I slept, I slept really good. And in the morning I was feeling fresh and happy, but had no dream at all, nothing, nothing literally. So I said, if there's a God, why didn't He give me a dream? Then I started crying because this is the moment when God died in my world. Like I said, there's no God for sure, because He didn't give me any signs at all. I started crying because I felt like I wasted all my life praying to God that doesn't exist. And even when I was atheist, I felt somehow guilty for being Athiest but then I heard God speaking to me audibly telling me I am the first and the last and the alpha and omega I'm the beginning and the end. And those words I've never heard before they stopped me because we don't have Bible it's banned. You can never find it in the store in Kuwait or in a library or something. So how do I know this book? I don't know them. So I was thinking like, if this is God, does He only speaks to my mother language, which is Arabic? But no, He was speaking all languages and He was filling the room. And I said, if you are God, what do you want me to do? He said, read John and he stopped talking. So I wrote down everything He said, I don't know who John is. But I just thought at first it's verses. So I Googled them and they were Bible. And I was thinking, why would God speak to me from a corrupted book and expired religion. It doesn't make sense. But I had this question I couldn't let go. I was so sure it was God. He was God. So I tried to go to a Church or ask a Christian friend, but I had none except one Christian friend she's American, but we were not that close, but I asked her anyway and she said, yeah, well, everybody hears God. And I said, what? That's big deal. She said, no, it's no big deal. How do you pray if you're not hearing from God? And I was thinking, this is something new. Like I've never heard about it before. So I said I want to go to a Church. And I went there and I went to the pastor and they said, I have lots of questions. And he said, okay, come to me in the office tomorrow at noon. And I felt that he just wanted me not to come because it's very hot in Kawait at noon. And it's like a polite way to say don't come unless you're very serious. So I came next day, one time I came with all my questions to him. Well at noon and was really hot, but I went to him anyway and I went to the office. He was very calm and wise. I was very aggressive with my questions. I had all the questions that an atheist would ask, like, what is God? Who created God? Why doesn't He care about what's happening in the world? Why is there's evil in the world if there's a God? All these questions, you know and he answered all the questions with verses from the Bible. He had the holy book in front of him. And he answered literally every question with a verse but he didn't say anything out of his mind. And I was so impressed. Like, what is this book? I want this book. I told him, he said, no, I can't give you this book. It's against the rules in Kawait to hand the Bible to a Muslim. It's a crime. So I said, nobody will know. And he said, no, we are surrounded by cameras. So we are being watched. I cannot give you the Bible. I'm sorry. And I said, but I want to be Christian. I want to follow Jesus. I love Him. And he said, well, if you believe that He was dying on the cross for you and He took your sins away and He will come back and judge the world and He is the son of God, then there you go. You are a Christian. And I said, yes, I do believe that, but I want to be officially Christian. He said, we can't baptize you in Kawait because it's against the rules. So I prayed about it and God directed me to leave the country and go get baptized in America.

Karen:

Before you share that story for just a second. I want to camp out here for a second because I love how that pastor responded to all the questions that you had. I think this is really important because often we believer's feel like we need to address questions. And we kind of get sucked into trying to answer them in our own words and in our own power. And yet what he did, that was so beautiful. He used God's living word to respond and respond to your questions very patiently by taking you through what God's Holy Book has to say, His living word has to say about those questions. And so I just love how he so patiently pointed you to that word. And then you wanted the word. So, so here you are, you're ready to be baptized. You have to come all the way to the United States to be baptized. Once you got here, what happened next?

Christina :

When I got here, I tried to barge in any church that I see. So I used to think that any temple is a Church. And I used to barge in and say, hello I want to be Christian. I want to get baptized. And I really scared people saying this, they didn't understand what do I want? And they were like, what you want? we don't understand. And I said, I want to be Christian. And some of them were not even Christian churches, but you know, how do I know the difference? I don't know the difference. So, I found a Church in Chicago and they prayed to the Lord if they should advise me on that. And the Lord told them that they should. Obviously, and they did baptize me. And then I left back to Kuwait. This was the best day of my life. They were like, who is this girl? Who preached to her? Who told her this and that? Who read the Bible to her? They don't know. It's like, who preached to her? Like people get discipled for years and years until that they accept the word of God and Jesus. But I came to them like in the power of the holy spirit, I was really filled with the holy spirit. And I really knew what I wanted. So it scared them. They didn't preach to me or anything. They didn't understand like who did that? I said, God did that. He spoke to me and why would God speak to Muslims in the Middle East? They think that this doesn't happen but actually this happened because God is almighty and all powerful and He can do everything according to His word to save his people.

Karen:

So now you go back to Kuwait, you've gotten baptized. You go back to Kuwait and you're going to share Jesus with everybody that you can. What happened next?

Christina :

Yeah. I was so excited. Everybody thought that I have a new boyfriend or something because I looked so happy. And they're like, Who's this lucky guy? Who's this guy that makes you smile all the time? And you're so happy you look different. So whenever they ask me about that, I can't hold it back. And I just say the story and they were shocked because they had no idea there's such a thing in the world, actually. So some of the friends that I have were against me and some of them actually accepted Jesus Christ. And now they are believers for years and they are prayer leaders. And they are, you know preaching the Gospel to other Muslims in Kuwait. And some of them have to leave Kuwait because it's against the rules. And the secret police were after all of us especially me.

Karen:

So you had to leave, you had to flee. And I know that, you know, hadn't thought about this before, but truly talking about Jesus in your country was like trying to sell drugs on a street corner, by a school here in America.

Christina:

Yeah. You can't hand the Bible and they don't even believe there is a Bible. Like when I tell people, the Bible said this and that they say, oh but there is no Bible it's expired. There is no such book. There's no, who has it? I said, I do. I have it to say no way. They just want a piece of it. You know? Like we would die for a one book to see, just to look at it like is there is such a book really. They wouldn't believe me. And you know, I was so afraid to have it sometimes. But by the host gave me the cards to give it to those who needs the Word of God and was thirsty for His love. People change, like I've seen lives changing. I've seen my friends changing. I've seen lots of things happening, like the book of Acts literally

Karen:

So Christina, when you came here to the United States and you had to flee Kuwait, I know that you went through this period of time where you had to give up everything, your family and leave everything behind to follow Jesus. And in that process, you had always longed to have that freedom, to share your faith, to have the freedom, to read the Bible, to have the freedom, to be baptized. And when you came here to the United States, you expected to find a very vibrant Christian fellowship that you could plug into. But what you found was something different. Talk with us about that.

Christina :

Well, I was in my house in Kuwait and out of nowhere, I picked up, get outside now and I thought, okay, I obey right away. I took my Bible and I got up and I didn't know what does it mean? I thought it's an earthquake or something. It was so obvious. We don't have earthquakes in Kuwait by the way. But it was that it sounded very emergency. It's like emergency, like get out of the house right now. And I left and I went to my Christian friends and the Pastor and we were afraid like, why did I hear this? And it was a message from God that I have to leave. Not only my house, but everything and just leave Kuwait now. And I didn't understand, but I just obeyed. And once I went out of Kuwait, one week after that Corona happened and the borders were closed. So God was saving me from the Secret Police and from everything that was gonna happen to me if I stayed there. So I came to America, not knowing that I'm not going back, but I just obeyed. I didn't even think about it twice. If God said go, I will go and not look back literally. When I came to America I thought everybody was a Christian. This is the scenario type that we have about the Americans and the West in general. And I've seen that It's not the actual fact. It's not the reality because you know, I was sometimes asking God, why did you create me in Kuwait but nobody is a believer. Why didn't you create me in a country that they are believers like the Western countries. But when I came here, I found out that Christianity is not that appreciated. Not everybody is Christian. It's actually rare to find some believers who are really willing to sacrifice everything for the Lord. And they take it for granted. Like you can see the Church is full of Christians, but they take it for granted. They don't know the value of it. They don't know that other people would sacrifice their lives, their jobs, their houses, their families, their marriages, their kids, just to follow Jesus and willingly and happily we follow Jesus and leave everything behind. And we never take it for granted. And when I seen people here and I'm sorry to say that Christians here take it for granted and it hurts me so bad. I was literally kind of angry because I don't think this is what God wants. He wants us to really know Him and to really understand the value of His grace, not abuse His grace. You know what I mean?

Karen:

Yeah. That's exactly why this podcast exists so that we can glorify God and point more people to Him so people know Him and want to make Him know.

Christina:

Yes. Amen.

Karen:

Amen. So any last words, Christina, the Lord has had you on quite a journey and I have no doubt that He's got big plans for you. And so anything else that's kind of on your heart that you'd like to share?

Christina :

I don't know exactly how do I explain myself? Really? It's an adventure being with Jesus. It's the most beautiful journey to walk with the Lord because you know, He will never forsake you or leave you. It can be scary sometimes it can be hard, but it's all for His glory. And you grow with Him. Take nothing for granted and get out of your comfort zone. Comfort zone is the worst thing ever. You need to just stand up for your faith and never let people shame you for your belief in Jesus, because Jesus at the end of the day is the Lord. And He is all almighty and all powerful. And He loves everybody. Even those who are cursing Him or not believing in Him. So you don't need to feel ashamed of your faith or your Bible. No people need to know the glory of God and other people need to know why do you love Jesus? And if you don't love Jesus, that means you don't know Him enough. I think that you as Americans are very blessed to have the freedom of faith and freedom of religion and freedom of speech use this time because He's coming back. Like I pray for America a lot and God gave me verses that He's coming back as a thief. Which touched me because this nation is asleep and God cares about America so much that He doesn't want people to go to an eternal hell or lose His love in some way. And He gave me this verse in Revelation 16:15. He said, look, I come like a thief. Blessed is the one who stays awake and remains clothed . So as not to go naked and be shamefully exposed, Amen. This is Revelation 16:15 and God gave me this verse for America. And I keep praying for this nation. God bless America and Americans. And I pray that you keep leading other nations into the Lord like you used to. Amen.

Karen:

Amen. Christina, thank you for joining me here today. And I can't wait to see now, as you put down new roots here in America and the Lord expands your territory, I can't wait to see how He uses you as an instrument in his hands, especially to reach back into Kuwait and for the people there who did not know Him. So I will put in the notes in the podcast notes today. Just some links where people who want to follow you can do so. And just thank you so much for sharing today. Thanks for listening to this podcast, a donor-supported series from iHOPE ministries. For more bite-sized things to know and do to share your faith with intention, follow us on Instagram @ihopeministries. Then go to ihopeministries.org and sign up for our weekly e-newsletter. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate and review the show on Apple Podcasts and subscribe wherever you listen. Your review helps the show empower more everyday Christians with the courage, confidence, and know-how to share Jesus in our generation. See you next time.